blocks: writer’s, cheese, traffic

that was possibly the most cohesive thought i will muster all day.

it feels like all day, but really it’s been probably an hour that i’ve been mindlessly staring off into vapor space and quietly muttering things to myself. sure, we all do it right? tell me i’m right or i will quite literally lose my shit right here in the office. i suppose bat shit crazy is an ok thing to be when you’re a woman who has failed at every one of life’s outlets: career, school (being that i should have grabbed the man by the balls and gotten a degree in biology. fuck) love, making anything of yourself that could possibly be described as admirable. 

ok. dark place today, because of a man.

for pete’s sake.

but it is cloudy.

adding to the darkness.

i don’t know who pete is, but for his sake can we take it down a notch and find a happy place for stephanie to reside in? just for a little while i would like to not feel a rather strong urge to either jump off a cliff or simply hope that god strikes me down with smite. 

smite me.

almighty

smiter

please help.

as i sit here drinking a purse temperature redbull, i am getting increasingly high strung. maybe the caffeine surge will make me happy. being tired and depressed really don’t go hand in hand unless you’re a heroin addict. i suppose. i know nothing about heroin. you know you can get clean needles and drugs in europe? perhaps i should leave home and go be a street walker in switzerland? it might work out, i could find a rich lesbian who finds my wide and hopeful eyes to be charming. or maybe i’ll get murdered for my shoes.

who knows.  

what i need right now is a slim jim and 30 cigarettes. a 5th of scotch. a gun. a safe place to hide.

ya that’s it. this one’s for all the ladies out there who are bitches. this is where it takes you. hate to say i told you so but i am a bitch. one you should steadily run away from. youuuuuu are too niceeee for me. 

team stephanie now has one point, but it’s a bitter point because she will now die alone with her many cats. 

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