warm cheese



you’re too kind.

be jealous, i won another virtual award and you get to read about it. again. 

you know i kinda like you, don’t go getting all butthurt on me. i’ve had enough of that today. that’s NOT a personal reference.

no time for a smooth transition into my acceptance speech (cause…..i have one).

apparently, i’m versatile. i would call it bitchy and perpetually irritated, but who’s judging?

someone is..

look behind you. look around your general vicinity. they’re judging youuuu 

maybe not your lameass personal blog, but most likely your choice of apparel and scent. possibly your lipstick that doesn’t match your blush too.  moving on. 

writeinthewrongway.wordpress.com nominated me, cause she’s the tits pasties. i told her she was just the tits, now i wish i would have added the pasties. anyway. by the way, fucking LOVE her name. if you don’t think that’s fucking clever, then shoo yo ass on outta here, cause i don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. how do you tag people?


1. Display the Award Certificate on your blog. 


2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you.


3. Present 15 deserving bloggers with the award. 

as my generous predecessor did, i think i’ll do 5. there are not 15 blogs on here that consistently (or ever) make me laugh more than my own. judge me.


4. Link your nominees in the post and let them know about their nomination with a comment. 

there’s got to be an easier way to do this. so much copying and pasting. sidenote: the order you appear in has nothing to do with anything. so take it. 

&& http://theverybesttop10.com

– who doesn’t want to see a whale house and irritated cats?

&& http://knockedoverbyafeather.wordpress.com

– i feel like we could talk about bowel movements, wine, and our various mental illnesses for the rest of time. 

&& http://moviewriternyu.wordpress.com

– this dude. nuff said. he’s secretly my number one pick. 

&& http://20somethingfemalelogic.wordpress.com

– this is just a ploy to get their attention. START FUCKING BLOGGING AGAIN 

&& http://london-survival.com

– i just found you. prepare for me to stalk you silently. 

5. Post 7 interesting things about yourself. 

if by interesting, you mean crude and slightly inappropriate, i am way ahead of you. 

ONE MOTHAFUCKA: i’ve recently been diagnosed (self) with allergies. when the fuck did i get allerigies?

TWO MOTHAFUCKA: i’m contemplating not letting my nominees know. if they love me like i love them, they’ll see it and get to be the tits whatever. 

THREE MOTHAFUCKA: i don’t have a care to make myself seem more interesting to you. 

FOUR MOTHAFUCKA: the offensive things i say are special made for whoever is reading it. so ya. 

FIVE MOTHAFUCKA: pretty sure my coccyx is out of whack. the part of my spine that’s basically what you would call in my ass, it hurts constantly.

SIX MOTHAFUCKA: my all white catholic high school dance team won the hip hop round in downey. for those of you not familiar with california, that’s the fuckin hood. 

SEVEN MOTHAFUCKA: i seriously pride myself on being an asshole.