that itch you can’t scratch

why on earth is this phrase solely related to the vagina? who decided to use that in their commercial for feminine products? we all have that itch that we can’t scratch, but god forbid it be my lady bits. that would be disgusting wouldn’t it? it must mean that i’m less of a woman for having a completely normal human thing happen to me, just in an inconvenient place. why is it ok for men to adjust, finagle, AND SCRATCH their fuckin hairy nuts in public when a woman has to run to a corner and hide it? honestly.

my writer’s block has already begun. someone send in the cavalry. bring tea.

my absence should come as no to shock to anyone who regularly visited me back in the day when I would actually update this stupid blog. shit happens, I disappear, you wonder why, then think “not really.”

back in the day. the days when I wasn’t emotionally scarred and distressed from the shit show that has now become my life. the only good outcome of my crippling depression was the loss of 20 pounds.

depression. she said depression. swim away, this ones crazy.

first thoughts on tinder: who takes their profile picture in the grocery store?

tinder is the level of boredom that I have unfathomably reached. again, please send in the cavalry. preferably men with beards, tattoos, and an unconditional love for dogs. 401k plan is a bonus.

kill my single self now because this surely can’t be worth it.

it is.

and don’t call me Shirley.