Posted on

a bad batch of cheez its

i know what you’re all thinking: where has this hilarious bitch BEEN. the answer to the question that has been plaguing your every waking moment and tormenting all of your ill processed daydreams (just go with it) is that, girlfriend over here, has been a busy ass. work is sucking my very will to live right out of my flabby body. also, i haven’t been to ballet in ohhhhh 4 months? needless to say, i am about to be cliche.
did you see that? you thought i was going to spout another gem of my hilariousness, but instead i chose to rhyme unnecessarily.
guess what? i am also single and ready to NOT mingle because, as slipknot so lovingly phrased it: fuck you all, fuck this world, fuck everything that you stand for.
ok ok i’m not THAT girl now. what i’m really trying to say is that i am finally free of the life sucking bonds of a relationship that has a child involved. oh and the stupid bastard cheated on me.
free at last, free at last; thank buddha all whiny i am free at last.
here’s the catch: there’s this dude -___-
not a negative tiny whale face by any means, more so a face that seems to be saying: you really can’t stay single for more than a month can you? you are a weak suck.
but then i think on the brighter side of the street because billie holiday inspired me to do so; hey, you can’t stay single because the men are flying off the man shelves at you faster than you can say “i’m sorry for offending you mr. chuck norris, sir”
i am off, my miniony followers who i dearly love.
beer awaits and so does a buff man who happens to share my obsession with youtube. for all you ladies out there, he has no friends 😉


About she who has no filter

i work 50 hours a week and don't always make time to actually maintain this site. JUDGE ME ASSHOLES. prepare yourself for exemplary wit and a whole lotta talk smackery.

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